you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
