he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
