I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
