That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
