I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Having a random hookup so left but love u
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
