She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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