if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize