I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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