guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
