I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
is it fun? or sober?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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