Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
