Me. At least after what I've been through.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
