About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
