This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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