I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
