im six kinds of drunk right now
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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