She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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