The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
