he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize