This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
