You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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