That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
