I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
