Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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