we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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