I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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