Sponge bath it is.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
