Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
