we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
