You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
