K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I want you more than these girls want KFC
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
