He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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