shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
