I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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