He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
