is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you didnt know i had herpes?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize