her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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