can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
