You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
