Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
