sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
