community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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