YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
