is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
