you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
