google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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