Why are handjobs necessary in class?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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