ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
