"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
