I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
