i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Randomize
