saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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