i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
