high people should be assigned attendants
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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