I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
