he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Of course I have a pirate flag
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
