You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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