That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize