So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i believe in u and ur pee
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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