he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
